An Apology
Whether you accept this or not is up to you but please atleast read it.
I am sorry for last night, for getting angry and for snapping at you. I am sorry that I lost control of myself and got mad when I realize now you are just trying to help.
This is going to be hard to hear but unfortunately I don’t think anyone can help me. This is not against you, its just that the problems going on and the stressed caused by school, masters and a job this summer are playing a massive toll on my head right now and causing me to lose my sanity almost every night. I’m at a time in my life when I don’t know what is going to happen for me even the next day and that scares me not knowing. I’m doing what I can to move forward but moving forward will only happen when I start getting answers back to questions I don’t know yet and that I can’t figure out, I have to let them just come to me. It scares me not knowing what this next year will bring or if I am ready for it. I’m scared, I’m lost and I really don’t think I can handle what is coming. Everything in my life is being thrown around right now, everything except for you.
Despite everything else running amok I always assumed that you were the one constant in my life, the one thing that would not change based on the other problems. I have always seen you like that and I have always seen you as being in my future, regardless of the direction that everything else goes in. And when you say something like “Do you want to break up with me?” is confuses the last part of me that was still holding onto sanity. The answer to that question will forever be no and nothing could change that. You need to understand how much you mean to me and how much of my life you really are a part of. It scares me when you think that and as shown last night it can send me spiraling and into a complete mental breakdown as I begin to think the last stable part in my life, you, is also wanting to change and to leave me. It scares me that you think we may not be together, that after everything you think that one of us wants to leave when I have never felt that way. It makes me feel like you are just playing games with me when something bad comes and you start assuming I want to leave you. It hurts when you say that because you just assume something without thinking about everything else going on and everything else we have been through. I want to be with you through the good and the bad, the better or worse, the sickness and health, the richness and poverty because that is how much you mean to me in my life. I don’t want you to ever doubt that you will be in my life, I want you always there and I want you to want to be there too.
Things are crazy for me right now but I always thought you would remain steady and help me through this by being there. It’s difficult for me to talk about anything going on here but it doesn’t mean that you being there and atleast helping me to keep my mind away from everything bad doesn’t mean something to me. You are a part of my life and I always want you to be a part of my life. I’m sorry about last night and what I said but the truth will always lie in the fact that I love you, forever and always.
It really is my luck that I am a fat, fat cat.
The caption on the metapic for this is “I whip my ears back and forth.”
So I just pissed myself in studio after seeing this. I can’t help but think of all the times we make these jokes with each other. I love you and everything that we are together.
I’m Gonna Burn
You take a wrong turn, drop a ball, fall short, you labor in vain
You choke, miss the boat, bomb out, cave in, fall flat on your face
Yeah that’s everyday life
But sometimes…
You hit a good lick, the stars light up
Your ship comes in, you make your mark
You catch a break, and you’re sittin’ on top
Yeah, cream of the crop!
You’re the stuff, you set the bar
You beat the odds and there you are
Spend most your life sittin’ in the dark waitin’ your turn
But every now and then you burn
- “Burn” by Chris Young
And when I’m older I want to look across the room and ask my wife why she is pointing towards me and what my daughter just asked her.
Site Model to Date, This is only 3/4 of the entire model that we are making. The pieces still need to be glued and then each block needs to be spaced up to be aligned with surrounding blocks. We are using 1/16 in chipboard for two foot contours of the entire Norwich University campus. The model scale is 1/32 in equals 1 ft.
